Questions that are Taboo on Hair Boards

[jazzi]

There are lots of questions that I know we want to ask, but there is a fear of being seen as negative or stirring the pot.  In this thread, all of that flies out of the window.  Feel free to ask anything you want about hair care, hair boards, or whatever politics you wish that are hair related!  But don't be an ass!   I'll kick it off 

For the ladies that are so vocal, why don't you have an album?  Usually, people like to look to a point of reference when being given advice.  So when you tell us something really worked out for you or whatever regarding your hair...

[jeamaria]

For the ladies that are so vocal, why don't you have an album?  Usually, people like to look to a point of reference when being given advice.  So when you tell us something really worked out for you or whatever regarding your hair...

I don't have an album because I don't have a camera or working scanner. We'll see what happens after X-mas. . .

My question is not original; it was asked by another poster in the  "pressure to be curly" thread, but the thread was locked before it got answered:

What if people don't like the Afro as a hairstyle? Is that *necessarily* good hair/bad hair mentality?

ETA: my question. Clicked submit a little too quickly

[Chelacious]

To Jeamaria:
Before I went natural, I didn't like the afro hairstyle, and could never see myself with one. Honestly I still don't love blown-out perfectly round fros. But once I did the BC, I realized that my hair naturally forms an afro. As such I knew that I would be SOL if I didn't learn to love chunky, shrunken afros. I love afros because an afro is not a hairstyle for me, but it's how my hair GROWS--I have no choice in the matter. But whether not liking the "style" stems from good/bad hair, I cannot say.

My question/vent:
I don't understand why, when Andre's system had nothing to do with hair texture per se, do people with kinky hair go overboard talking about their hair is not even a 4b, but a 5zzzz? It's silly and way too self-deprecating to me. If you have kinky hair without an obvious curl pattern, then andre's system considers you a 4b. That's it.

[Tanisha]

I've seen some get plum ignorant on other boards when usually a poor newbie like myself, ponders the benefits or lack thereof of TEXTURIZERS. They go off like someone talked about their mama!!

Today a friend I talked into going natural said she was thinking about a texturizer & all I said was to give it a little time to make sure you know your real hair & what it can do. If, after it grows out & you find that maybe it's too much for you, then ok(my thinking is the longer she goes without one  she'll find the comfort zone & let it go).

However, the flip side to that is, I know a little girl with the thickest hair I've ever seen & it hung almost to her butt & it made her & her mama miserable. It was heavy,she was tenderheaded & beyond time consuming. Truth be told, it was so much it was kinda freaky looking. So once dad gave in, it was cut & flat ironed and they couldn't be happier.She keeps her standing appointment.

What is so wrong with that?? When you can do the best you with confidence, then can that be wrong??
The one thing I love about being black & natural is my options. I have more than every other race of people I know & I take pride in that. You mean to tell me God gave me hair that can curl up,fro up,braid up & straighten up too & I shouldn't floss that??? Puhleeze.

So with all that being said, how do you guys really feel about the "TEXTURIZER"?
Also, if you look at some of those progression photos on Miss Jessie's website, you see that it's not always about the curly,but the manageable.

[Afrocurls]

Honestly, 95% of the the texturizers Ive seen are a damn mess. Rarely do they come out looking right. They look like the curly chicks who press their to DEATH. It just looks damaged. It's not attractive to me. I have outrageously thick hair too, but I'll be damned if I bother with the hassle of a texturizer. That's just doing too much.

[Afrocurls]

You can tell how far along someone is in their natural hair journey by their reaction to people talking shit about their hair.

"OMG BOOKWANDA SAID MY HAIR LOOKED LIKE TUMBLEWEED! SHE JUST JEALOUS! IM NAPPY AND PROUD! ONLY REAL AFRICAN QUEENS CAN WEAR THEIR HAIR NATURAL WITH NO FEAR!"

And then the choir chimes in "Yeah girl! MMHMM, THAT'S RIGHT!"

You aint foolin nobody. You still shook somebody insulted you. Keep it real. All them tired one liners aren't necessary

[bubbles76]

I honestly feel that a texturizer is a fancy marketing term for a relaxer that wasn't left in long enough.  It can still be damaging.  And yes, so can heat, pulling on it too hard, wearing it pulled back too much, etc. etc.  But pick your poison.  

As for the little girl, if her hair was heavy and the little girl was tenderheaded, why didn't the mother just cut her hair?  Why cut AND flat iron it?  I cannot imagine hair that is that impossible to deal with.  I would say she didn't know how to style it and was trying to make it do what it didn't want to do.  Yeah, if it was to her butt I would say cut it.  But a short style that the mother can manage is something different.  

And if that board you're talking about is what I think, people get upset because newbies rush onto the boards without reading the mission statement.  Or they feel people have read the mission statment, but ask anyway.  I feel most people don't want to read the first page; they just want to jump onto the boards.  If you're having hair issues, of course that's the first place you want to go.  I'm not giving anybody a license to be rude, mean, or condenscending, but I'm just explaining where they are coming from.  Nobody is going to have anything good to say over there about texturizers.  

Edited by Jazzi b/c I don't want a board war.  Some ladies are that ridiculous.

[jazzi]

About not liking Afro's: I guess it's a matter of preference.  It's just hard to determine where it stems from.  Does it come from simply not liking the style or is it more about not wanting to look nappy?  It's like someone saying "I don't like dark-skinned men."  Of course you have the right to choose who/what you like, but it just sounds so self-hating...even if it isn't the case.  I think when you're Black, you can't afford to dislike what you are.

About texturizers: 100% in agreement with Afrocurls.

[bubbles76]

I don't have an album because I don't have a camera or working scanner. We'll see what happens after X-mas. . .

My question is not original; it was asked by another poster in the  "pressure to be curly" thread, but the thread was locked before it got answered:

What if people don't like the Afro as a hairstyle? Is that *necessarily* good hair/bad hair mentality?

ETA: my question. Clicked submit a little too quickly

Hmmm..that's pretty interesting.  I don't think so.  Some people don't like bantu knots or locs or double puffs as a hairstyle.  Is that "good hair, bad hair"?  My mother didn't like afros when they were rocking them everywhere, but then my mother has that "good hair, bad hair" mentality.  

Here's one that may be taboo for hair boards:  I am totally responding in kind to anyone that has a negative comment about my hair, regardless of age.  I will not be rude, I will just be heard.  

[jazzi]

Ladies please don't mention other boards.  I DO NOT feel like people coming over here browsing and then going back and posting.  Just use a synonom.  Thanks!

[bubbles76]

Ladies please don't mention other boards.  I DO NOT feel like people coming over here browsing and then going back and posting.  Just use a synonom.  Thanks!

Sorry I guess I see what you're saying. 

[Afrocurls]

I'm just gonna say that HappyCurls is the fairest hair board I've come across.

It's amazing the kind of discussions you can have when you don't treat your members like children.

Oh, and another taboo subject is white women with mixed kids who don't do their hair. LAWWWWDD that urks me! I remember I was watching that new show "The Game" and the white chick with the mixed daughter was arguing with a black woman on the show. And the black woman straight told her "Im gonna need for you to learn about black haircare so you can comb your child's head. Got her walking around here looking crazy". I WAS LIKE NOOOOOO she did not go there!

But then the white girl got her back, talkin about "What would you know about black hair? Your hair is korean".

ZING!!!!! Black lady couldn't even say nothing after that.

[jazzi]

Afrocurls, you need to be on stage!

[Tanisha]

You can tell how far along someone is in their natural hair journey by their reaction to people talking shit about their hair.

"OMG BOOKWANDA SAID MY HAIR LOOKED LIKE TUMBLEWEED! SHE JUST JEALOUS! IM NAPPY AND PROUD! ONLY REAL AFRICAN QUEENS CAN WEAR THEIR HAIR NATURAL WITH NO FEAR!"

And then the choir chimes in "Yeah girl! MMHMM, THAT'S RIGHT!"

You aint foolin nobody. You still shook somebody insulted you. Keep it real. All them tired one liners aren't necessary

You are so right !  Her mama made a joke about some of her hair looking like beadie-bees.

Bubbles,

Believe it or not, my stylists who likes to fry up some hair, told me he wouldn't texturize me bcuz it's too inconsistent with the different textures in my head. I should tip him better  

And the little girls mom was another race & she may not have know how to deal with it better,then to, when my baby was 6, she had alot of beautiful hair and her stepmom brought her back to me with a bone-straight perm cuz she didn't know how handle it(yes I did at least buck up-we're cool now though).

Chelacious,
I feel you with the fro. I was traumatized as a young child whose mother often made her wear a fro just bcuz she didn't have any hair. It was huge-it was wrong-my cousin would throw things into it that I couldn't feel & laugh at me all day.

[~Ani~]

Why do so few black women on the curly board circuit admit that they have a texturizer? Even when it's completely obvious and overprocessed, they still refer to their hair as "natural?"

I won't name names.