Questions that are Taboo on Hair Boards

[jazzi]

I thought this thread was about saying what you wanted to say without it being taken personally and that everybody had the right to express what their thoughts without it getting ugly...I guess that only applies to certain people.  My bad.

It was like that, but you took it there ma.  I know you "know" me well enough to know that I'm gonna defend myself if I feel like someone is trying to play me.  We've been on other boards together.  No love lost. 

[~Ani~]

On texturizers again: I don't mean to make anyone feel bad about having one.  I hope it's not coming out that way.  It's just that with the exception of men and ladies w ultra short do's, I've never seen one that looks nice.  I'm sorry.

I think you probably don't recognize most of the texturizers you see as texturizers.

[~Ani~]

If relaxing/pressing/texturizing or whatever makes a woman take better care of her hair ('cause some folks will pamper their relaxed hair but won't do a damn thing with the natural), then why is it a stressor for other folks that someone chooses to relax/straighten/texturize their hair?  It all seems like far too big of a deal to me.

I just don't think it's always deeper than "it's just hair."

I think you're right. Personally, I just like to know what people do to their hair I guess out of nosiness and in the spirit of advice or whatever.

In that vein, I've noticed that almost all of the women at another curly board a few years ago where getting "softeners" "silkeners" and "texturizers" or slopping on a lot of BBD glass to get a certain look.

Now, I can count the number of people who admit to the use of chemicals on one hand on that board and yet the hair pretty much looks the same as it did years ago (on average)...so it just makes me wonder how many are faking the funk so to speak.

Then there are those with obviously overprocessed hair that they still call "natural" so it really makes me wonder how many there are with good texturizers that don't talk about it. In terms of getting hair tips, this seems problematic.

[keepitmovin]

It was like that, but you took it there ma.  I know you "know" me well enough to know that I'm gonna defend myself if I feel like someone is trying to play me.  We've been on other boards together.  No love lost. 

Why would I be trying to play you again??? I stated my opinion, simple as that jazzi, just as you have.  There are TONS of folks on multiple hair boards that came to mind when I typed that.  It's not a personal attack, just an observation.

Let me clarify my statement.

When I think about the whole issue of who's lying about being texturized, I liken that to who's lying about what they do to their hair to make it look the way it does.  If people who texturize are ostricized or bashed for doing so, why would they confess to texturizng (and no, I don't texturize my hair)?  It breeds a the setup for the lie.  

I have visited numerous fotki's or photo albums in the last year and some of them have changed their product lists and albums altogether to remove any reference to "overdoing it" at any time in their natural journey.  It's as if one day they woke up, decided to go natural and got it right the first try, when I know better, because I've seen the product list and the routines posted.  No wonder newbies are so damn confused.  I can sense that there is a lack of comfort with being honest about how folks care for their hair, even when they are being honest about what they do for fear of not qualifying as a good natural.  

Some women pretend to never straighten, some pretend to never use heat of any kind, some pretend to wake up everyday with PERFECT curls without doing a thing (we all know better than that).  There seems to be a negative stigma attached to those who texturize and those who use more products that the next person.  Wouldn't it make more sense to encourage people to reveal what they are really doing with their hair daily so that you may offer advice vs. making them feel bad for using far more products than you would ever think of using or texturizing their hair?

That's me stating my opinion and we all know about opinions, everyone has one.  

jazzi, even sisters can disagree and still have respect for one another, I hope we can too.

[keepitmovin]

@anika...you were replying as I was and you and I are basically saying the same thing.  I just want the REAL truth and I don't want to do anything to discourage someone from revealing the REAL truth.

[~Ani~]

When I think about the whole issue of who's lying about being texturized, I liken that to who's lying about what they do to their hair to make it look the way it does.  If people who texturize are ostricized or bashed for doing so, why would they confess to texturizng (and no, I don't texturize my hair)?  It breeds a the setup for the lie.  

I agree about that. There is sometimes a holier than thou attitude about having 'natural' hair which I think is silly and it certainly does encourage people not to be honest about their use of chemicals.

It is after all only hair like you said.

I think I might take some of these sorts of comments more personally were it not for the fact I had natural hair for most of my life and it didn't make me any better or worse person than I am today with texturized hair.

[~Ani~]

@anika...you were replying as I was and you and I are basically saying the same thing.  I just want the REAL truth and I don't want to do anything to discourage someone from revealing the REAL truth.

I agree with what you are saying and it plays into the whole reason there are some women out there with some really messed up looking texturizers. Probably they would be able to do a better job if those who know how to get a better result were more forthcoming about what they do.

Or maybe those same women would be happier with natural hair if they had more accurate (honest) comparisons to look at.

[jazzi]

Final thoughts on texturizers: See the thing is, it's not about having a superior attitude about being natural.  If one chooses to texturize, that's her right and business.  My issue is coming on a board that caters to natural hair care and never mentioning the use of a texturizer, or trying to pass it off as natural.  That really doesn't make sense to me.  I really haven't seen that too much here, but definately did so on past hair boards.

I don't like the look of texturizers. period. That's as much my right as it is to the person wearing it.  Even the one's done by the "experts" at Curve Salon look artificial to me.  I have a natural aesthetic when it comes to everything, including hair. 

To Keepitmovin: I know what you're saying and I'm not so self-absorbed that I think its always about me, but it really seemed like your "looking-down, snob" comments were made to me, b/c I'm always stressing light product usage.  And if so, that's cool.  This isn't the other site where you have to kiss the asses of the administrators and mods or be removed.  You and I have disagreed before.  It was cool then and it's cool now.  I look at you as a buddy, so I'm really not trippin at all.  I was just caught off gaurd when I read your post. 

I hope noone ever does anything b/c its the gospel according to Jazzi, I just like to share my experiences b/c I've been natural nearly all my life and am happy to have finally "gotten it."  I know it seems like I'm hard on the heavy product users, but it's b/c I've been there.  Now, I know a better way.

As far as encouraging people to find another way, I try do that all the time!  That's the whole reason for the "hair logs" and other threads.  As a matter of fact, you were one of the first people that got great results when we first started w the bohemian routine awhile back. 

At the end of the day, people can do whatever they want to their hair, but I like to help them do it in the simplest fashion. 

[~Ani~]

Well I agree. I don't much like the results shown on the miss Jessie's salon webpage either.

However, many times texturized results look just like someone else's natural hair texture so it's hard to make a blanket statement about what they look like. The ones that are recognizable are usually the ones that are very poorly done and the ones that are done well are usually kept hush, hush so it difficult to know what they look like across the board when most users (ha!) are operating under a don't ask/don't tell policy apparently.

I strongly suspect that many of our hair celebrity "icons" use some chemicals and I know that for a fact in some cases like Nicole from Ambush Makeover, Lisa Nicole Carson, Holly Robinson Peete, etc.

But we certainly all have a right to like what we like.

[jazzi]

My taboo ? is to the lurkers --> why are you here and why won't you join and post? 

I can think of a few reasons, but I don't want a board war   Just kidding!  Come out lurkers!

[Natakue]

yea, i liked that lurker comment too! come out, come out wherever you are! we don't bite! 

[jazzi]

I agree with you Anika and who knows?  Maybe the people I praise all the time for having great hair have really good texturizers, I don't know.  I guess it's more accurate to say the texturizers I've seen and knew were texturizers, looked very messy.  I can't count you in that b/c you don't have enough pics, but the ones I did see looked very nice.

[~Ani~]

Well thanks Jennie. I'll post some more pics but right now my hair looks an awful mess and I guess I'd prove your theory right.

[jazzi]

Well thanks Jennie. I'll post some more pics but right now my hair looks an awful mess and I guess I'd prove your theory right.

Death!

[jazzi]

My question/vent:
I don't understand why, when Andre's system had nothing to do with hair texture per se, do people with kinky hair go overboard talking about their hair is not even a 4b, but a 5zzzz? It's silly and way too self-deprecating to me. If you have kinky hair without an obvious curl pattern, then andre's system considers you a 4b. That's it.

ITA!  But I also think it's a person's way of poking fun at the very biased system.